Pleasant? Distraction...

As I spent time wondering about whether or not an age difference would be too much for me to handle the curious connection with the cute boy faded out. Despite thinking that it is a real shame that we did not have the chance to get to know each other better I did have a great time with him. He brought up something in me that made me feel really good.... I guess I am longing for that.

In the meantime contact with The Ex has gotten other things stirring and I am left wondering things like how much hurt is too much to come back from, and at what point do you begin to lose integrity in longing for someone that does not feel the same way. It is a difficult conversation to have with myself and despite some invaluable input from friends I am left trying to sort this one out on my own.

One close friend recounted the hurt that pushed her to her limit and I can definitely relate. What I wonder though is... Are you being true to yourself if you push the feelings aside and move on because routine is more comfortable and easier to cope with? I don't know to be honest. I think that the routine and the comfort of your life apart from this person plays an important role but then what do you do with all of the other - all of the internal stuff that is clogging up the drains?

Part of what has been so upsetting about contact from The Ex again is doubting what I am feeling. It's scary and sensing that doubt in itself is frightening.

But of course on a lighter note, we hired models today to just walk about the offices/showroom with champagne - they changed hourly and simply spent the day answering to our whims for pinot and bubbly. The boys were sexy and oh so friendly - getting paid well of course - but all the same it made for pleasant distraction. We were all taking acute notice of the wardrobe changes - The Line is so killer!