Feeling...... Better?

Okay, so the cold is defeated and it only managed to last a couple of days. Too much stress, bad food, and not enough sleep. Problem solved. I slept in this weekend and took it easy. No work with clients (except one) and lots of lazing about in the sun once it finally appeared.

So I am feeling better physically but I am also in one of those puzzled moods I tend to get in when I am thinking of the big picture things... I just finished watching Lord of War (and Syriana a few days ago). If you haven't seen either I recommend them both. Both are based on very current world events and unfortunately both are extremely depressing when it comes to the cruelty that humans inflict on each other. I tend to be a vigilant optimist, even when it sometimes is against my better judgment, but man we can be real assholes when we want to be. It just pisses me off that so many people are so ignorant of the world around them and go about their lives without a care for anyone much less themselves.

I realize that this is a choice they have made to conduct their lives this way. I know from experience that those who truly want to know, and want to move in a different direction, even when deprived of education and basic amenities, can do so. So it pisses me off that so many people who have and who know choose to do nothing. Movies like these do tend to leave me with a feeling of helplessness that I know is not accurate but you just have to wonder when our direction with change.

What's really sad is that I felt the same way watching the MTV VMA awards. What a pathetic spectacle. I love a big party, cool music, hot fashion, and general sexiness as much as the next big queen but come on! It just seemed like stupidity was the rage and just acting like a complete jackass is the ultimate. Even when Pink (who was likely half in the bag) stood up and mocked the "stupid girls" nobody really seemed to get it.... so sad.

And now back to the superficial... it is beginning to feel like Fall is setting in here in NYC and I can't wait. I can't wait to pull out my fav clothes and be able to wear a jacket around. I love NYC in the Fall. It is the sexiest time of year and I want a man to share it with. I am not liking the single thing one bit. Not one bit. I want someone around to talk with, to argue with, to snuggle with, have sex with, and although I have wonderful friends around it is not the same... and all of this makes me dwell on The Ex - who has been making regular appearances in my dreams of late. Not happy ones, just memories of our time together and sadness that it has ended. Hate that too. Damn.

So this all leaves me angry with mankind and wanting a man (so if there is anyone out there that resembles Josh - pictured above - with a brain and a point of view, give me a call). Crap.