Something Has Shifted....

Like We Never Loved At All



God Damnit! I am so Faith Hill in this video it's pathetic... and I'm not even a country music fan. I had such a great day walking around Manhattan in the sun. I went to my garden, did some shopping, bought several pairs of shoes I so don't need, and just generally looked fabulous and then it all went downhill.

I have a bit of spare time on my hands and what do I end up doing? Thinking about The Ex. Fucker Fucker Fucker! I'm pissed at him, and at myself for still being pissed at him.

It's odd though - something has shifted about all of this. I felt it yesterday while recovering from my nasty night out Friday evening. Something is different about all of this. I knew if the moment I woke up and even though I'm not sure what it is yet I know there is something there... I don't like it.

I've decided on no contact with The Ex whatsoever for now. For now that seems best because every time there is contact it is like torture because I hear things like "I miss us so badly" and "I miss our life together..." and of course I miss it too. But, while he is saying that to me he is dating another guy! I know, makes me sounds ridiculous but it is much bigger than that and after 10, yes Ten years together it is fuckin difficult to extract yourself from something that has so become a part of how you identify yourself. Sounds odd and I know it, but that's the way it is... anyway I feel like Faith (and not just because of the fabulous hair and wardrobe).