Something to believe in?

Two strange things happened to me yesterday. First as I was walking around Manhattan I started thinking about the students from my school. I always referred to them as my kids (I guess it's a weird teacher thing). Anyway, I had this uncanny feeling that I was going to run into one of them that day. You know that feeling you get sometimes and then you run into the person that you were thinking about? So, a friend and I pop in to this fast food joint for a bite and guess what? One of the worst, and I am not kidding, the worst of the troublemaking students that I ever encountered was there. She seemed to pleased and said hello across a busy room. I smiled and went over to say hi, and we chatted briefly about what she was doing (now working in said godforsaken fast food restaurant) and I asked about school. She replied that she couldn't go to my old school anymore and was going to try for a GED program in September. I told her that she really needed to do that and wished her well.

Such a funny thing when you are teaching these students and more so when you teach at-risk youth who have come from such difficult places, you let them try again and again and again. This particular student had been thrown out of my classroom literally dozens of times and had been escorted off school property by security guards on more than one occasion. Yet, I always let her try again. There was never a point when I thought that a student no longer deserved the chance to try again. She tested me and I'm sure brought me closer to my limit than anyone else - but she was always allowed to try again.

That made me think... when I arrived home yesterday evening I had an email from The Ex. He had written a response to an email I sent telling him how I disliked being mad at him. "I hate being mad at you and I have never ever liked it... missing you" was basically the gist of it. I read it over and over again and I thought, as I have so many times before, when do I draw the line with him? When do I say that enough is enough and not give him any more chances? If I can do it for all of these other people in my life then why do I feel the need to not give him another chance?

I know the argument for not giving The Ex any more chances is that he is an adult whereas my students are kids who are not as developed/worldly/educated/mature/etc. and that seems like a reasonable argument. It seems like it should answer the question but then I am left with a new question... another troubling matter. What makes me the person who should be drawing the line on who gets more chances and who doesn't? I'm having trouble with the answer.

My father abused me and my family especially my mother and she has given him chances for almost forty years now. I have been more reluctant to do so lately and have all but cut him out of my life. So I drew a line there albeit one that I think is likely temporary as I would like to see him grow healthier (more on that later I'm sure). My younger sister was able to cut him out altogether and I completely respect both her decision and that of my mother so where does that leave me.

In the end I guess it is a very personal thing... although that doesn't make me feel very good either.

The pic is from a photographer named Richard De Chazal. I will get a link up here soon. It is Sagittarius - the eternal optimist. Go figure...